Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
