Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
