Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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