I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
