Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
