I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
