last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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