he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
