So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
