garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
