you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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