Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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