Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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