thus making me awesome and them whores
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
