Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
