White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This toilet bowl is my home.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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