I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am spending my child support on dildos
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
