so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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