Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
