That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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