Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
