tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
