You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
