I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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