We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
