If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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