Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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