$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
