someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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