I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
