I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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