if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
