so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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