Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
