have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the day after is always just damage control
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
