So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
