He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
