Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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