First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
