sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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