im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
