just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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