trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
