I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
