stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
