soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
