He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
