They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
