You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
