I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
