Cold hands, warm shart.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
